This is an interesting turn of events...

This is one of those TMI, for my hardcore infertility ladies posts. But any of you are welcome to follow along!! (I'll add a list of common abbreviations at the bottom)

After close to a year on break of no tracking, no temping, no OPKs and no TI ... I think I might be ovulating this month! Its not very often that I get good signs of impending O unless I'm on meds, although I do suspect that once in a while I sporadically ovulate on my own. These O's appear to be weak with low progesterone and a short LP just like my femara alone O's.... but anywho!! Working on my video for the SIRM I Believe Contest has kicked up my baby fever and that urgent feeling to start treatments. So after a day at work with the craziest CM I've ever had, I couldn't resist dragging out my giant bag of OPK's and peeing on one! It looked positive!!!

"don't get excited. you know this happens from time to time and its no better than an O on femara."

That was this past Wednesday night. So, given my track record of the worlds shortest LH surge, we BD just in case it was the real deal, I mean it can't hurt? And I decided to do another OPK Thursday morning. I was shocked to see that it was still positive!!

"still surging?? this is not normal for you!! maybe you are rusty and are just reading them wrong"

Fast forward to Thursday night. Was still having some crazy CM so I peed on another OPK and got yet again two very DARK lines.

"okay, they are defective. You usually ahve a surge so quick that you can miss it while testing twice a day. There is no way you are still detecting a LH surge 24hours after the first"

A little more BD... ya know... just in case!! Then I tested again on Friday morning. STILL POSITIVE! My heart actually sank a little.

"okay. It's a bad batch. They are going to pop positive no matter what. you're not ovulating"

So I did what any logical person would do... I made my husband take an OPK! & Guess what?? He is NOT ovulating!!

"dude!! this could be the most epic natural O ever!! Maybe the most recent weightloss is having an impact?"

I had some cramping and tenderness in the lower tummy/ovary area Friday and Saturday. Got some more BD in, ya know just in case, and am annoyingly bloated today!! Is this some magical miraculous O? Im not sure, and really won't ever know for sure, but its crazy unusual for me and I will take it! Maybe it is a sign that my hormones are trying to straighten out after my weight changes. Maybe its just another crazy sporadic weak O that means nothing. But it's an interesting turn of events!



OPK= ovulation prediction kit
TI = times intercourse
O = ovulation
CM= cervical mucus
LP= Luetal Phase the 2ish weeks after O
LH= Luetenizing Hormone - rises right before O
BD= baby dance (baby making)

I Believe Video Posted

Our submission to the SIRM 2013 contest to win IVF. Voting will be open from November 18th until December 1st at http://haveababy.com/believe-2013-videos/
Please share our video and vote for us if you like it!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkuG1LyLK0I&feature=youtu.be

Just Checking In!

Well hello there!! Long time, no see!! Anyone following along, we've officially reached one year with no fertility treatments. It's really been a lot easier to reach that "anniversary" than I expected. I feel like the hard part is over. It was devastating in the beginning, I didn't want to be on break. I didn't want to be wasting more time, seeing others announce their pregnancy while i'm twiddling my thumbs. Or at least trying! Doing something. I'm not sure where things got better, I can't really pinpoint that moment. But somewhere in early spring I realized that If we can't TTC right now, we should use this time the best we can. I needed to heal, to get into a better mindset before we try again. I was neglecting a lot of things because of my devotion to all things TTC and fertility related. I was avoiding some things because sometimes they hurt!! 

I missed a lot of baby showers because I just couldn't make myself go. So many holidays and family gatherings that should have been enjoyable, really weren't because above all else, I wanted to share those moments with my child. I wanted to see my baby in their Easter dress, I wanted to be watching them run around with their cousins at the 4th of July BBQ (or crawl! or just lay there looking all cute in their red, white, &blue). I wanted to be taking my child trick or treating, not just look at all the other cute kids in costumes. And most of all, I wanted it to be my baby enjoying their first Christmas. I don't think that ache every really goes away. But I wanted to work on my response to that feeling and my ability to NOT let it ruin everything. I wanted to reconnect with my friends and family, even the ones with children. I wanted to get my life back. I started making myself go out more and do things. Start going on date nights more. Not decline invitations to go grab lunch with a friend or accompany them and their niece to Build-A-Bear. Meet up with friends to eat at Applebees, (even though their baby is with them). Things like that. I feel like I've made some progress and i'm in a much better place than I was.

 I also really buckled down on the weight loss. I guess with my neurotic tendencies, I need an obsession! I had gained back up to 200lbs at some point in early summer. I was struggling and I decided to get one month of phentermine (adipex) from my doctor to help me kick things back into gear. I skipped days here and there and that script lasted me way more than one month, but it was the confidence booster that I needed. I knew that on a tough day, I could take it and not eat everything in sight. I started doing a walking/aerobic DVD with a co-worker daily. We were doing 5 miles a day at one point and I was doing great on my water intake finally. Im currently down a total of 72lbs from my heaviest of 235lb. Im hoping for 18 more pounds putting me at 144 and in a healthy BMI range!! Im soooooo close and feeling really confident that I can get there. 

On the TTC front, we are hoping that at the first of the year (also our 4 year mark) we can get back to the RE and jump back in. I want to get some labs repeated and a new ultrasound. Maybe some things will have improved with my weight loss? I want to give the oral meds alone anther chance. Maybe Jan & Feb. If we need it, we're hoping to do another injection/IUI cycle by March or April. I'm also working on a video to enter an contest through Sher Institutes in STL to win a free IVF cycle. Im not a likely winner, but the video diary has been fun to work on. I will share the link to my completed submission!! You all can vote for me :)