New Year, New Plan...

We had our first appointment with our current RE in over a year yesterday. It went pretty well. I forgot to ask some things, but I'm pretty happy with how things went.
I had planned to talk about.

• New lab work, since I've lost more weight.
• His opinion on our IUI/Inject cycle
• Is it worth it to try another IUI
• To try Femara  in the mean time, at a higher dose (7.5mg ideally)
• Prices on IVF and financing options.

What happened?

• He went over just about anything and everything we have done. My past Femara cycles and p4's 
• My weight loss since he first started seeing me and bragged a lot on me. That part was nice because I'm actually up about 8lbs since the Holidays and was feeling pretty shitty about it.
• My husbands SA results and the post-wash numbers from our two IUI's. He seemed pleased with the improvements in the last numbers and explained more about what they like to see in post-wash samples. 
• He said that since I've reported a few spontaneous natural ovulations he would like to try Femara again but maybe 3 pills instead of 2 (that would be 7.5mg!!)
• He would plan for us to do an IUI but we would do OPKs at home and one ultrasound locally with our OB when we got a positive. Then trigger and come in for the IUI. He will also get orders for a p4 at our OB following the IUI.

He was so positive and encouraging that I just couldn't bring the mood down by asking about IVF. We will save that for a later date. Me and my husband have discussed things and we think that we will cancel the IUI for this month and just let the 7.5mg Femara play out to see how it works. If we see good results, then in February's cycle, we may give the IUI one more go!! We are curious to get a follicle scan and just see what is going on in there with just the femara since we were never monitored on it previously. So we're up in the air as to if we will cancel the IUI before or after we get a sneak peek!! Also undecided on if we will take the Ovidrel Trigger when we get the +OPK or just see if my body goes on its own. I will update when we know!!

Last night was CD4 so we started and Im excited to see where this goes!! Just happy to be doing something :)

Crying Over Spilled Milk...

...or fingernail clippers! Yup, you read that right, crying over fingernail clippers. That was me Saturday afternoon. I promise I can explain!

It's one of those, the last straw kind of stories. It wasn't really the fact that I just spent 30 minutes hunting all over my house for fingernail clippers, only for my husband to find them in the very first place I looked (btw this is when the tears started pouring). It wasn't even really the fact that my house is a mess and I'm so frustrated with never being able to find anything and trying to get it organized amidst Holiday chaos.

It had a little to do with hormones and a lot to do with Aunt Flow. So, as we've discussed, she is pretty regular for me. Even annovulatory cycles for me end with a lining shed/breakthrough bleed. Whatever you want to call it. And until I was TTC, I never knew it wasn't the real deal. So every 28-30 days, wanted or not, AF shows up... until this month. Day 30...31...32 I barely even noticed, I mean im not on any meds. Im still on "break" technically and still not tracking temps. We didn't try to time anything plus with the male factor issues, would it matter?? But then 34?!? I was confused. Could I be? No!! ...35! Should we test?! Is something wrong? We decided to wait one more day and then If no murder scene, hubby would go get us a test!!

This brings us back to Saturday morning. Woke up. No pool of blood... still no cramps... none of my usual symptoms, just like all week! That little bit of excitement kicks in! My heart was racing. I woke up Tom and sent him off to the store. I know his hopes were up to since he got up willingly and was heading out the door in no time. Got my trusty test cup (my TTC ladies likely have one too!) And as I was finishing up, there it was. That little tint of pink. And my heart sank. It's like a punch in the gut really. All the breath is just knocked out of you. And ofcourse then i'm kicking myself for even being hopeful to begin with. Why do I do this?? I texted the hubby and told him nvm, come back home. And I put on my brave face. He just looked soooo sad coming in the house. He is usually the tough one. It just broke my heart.

But we do what we do best, and we just go on about the day and we move on to the next cycle. We eat waffles, we watch TV under our blanket on the couch. He plays his Playstation. I browse Facebook... cute baby picture... status about baby doing something funny... someone is in labor... someone is pregnant!!... funny baby picture... status about baby being cute... someone's officially got a bump!! and so on. I decide to go take a shower. I break a finger nail on the faucet (ouch!). Ofcourse the crooked jagged nail is driving me bonkers. It's freezing. The house is a mess. I can't find the leggings im looking for. Nail is snagging on everything I touch. Grrrrrrr must fix it! So the hunt begins. And we all know how that part of the story ends. With me on the couch in tears, seemingly crying over a damn pair of fingernail clippers!!

In love with a child, we haven't yet met..

 2013 had a lot of ups and a lot of good memories made, but every year that passes is bittersweet, because we are still waiting for our miracle baby. We are hopeful that 2014 will be the year our prayers are answered. Please help us to share our story and share our #gofundme web page. Help us to reach others & make this dream come true! We'll do anything we can to have a baby, and right now, that means asking for your help. #teambabyhouseholder

www.gofundme.com5kb3xc