Birth Control & Belly Bruising

**disclaimer: I like to be open & honest on my blog. It's like a diary sometimes. It's not meant to offend. But be prepared for sometimes colorful language, information you may find gross, and graphic photos as that relate to infertility/reproduction** 

For your typical IVF cycle, there is like a "pre-cycle" leading up to it. Our RE described it as like a system reset. Or like rebooting your computer?! Basically you take birth control pills to shut down the typical reproductive cycle. Everything is kinda in limbo until you finish them and start the stimulation meds.

Unfortunately for me, BCP has ALWAYS made me terribly sick. Just overwhelming nausea, headaches, and it's a migraine trigger. I started out taking them at night, only to realize that was not going to help with my new Midnight work schedule. So I slowly worked them back to AM doses. I'm making it through work now, but 4pm like clock work, I awake from a dead sleep with the urgent need to puke, which I never do! I'm counting down to that last dose!!

Another unfortunate fact, I have a blood clotting disorder, Factor V Leiden, so as a precaution I have to take a blood thinner when on hormones like BCP which can increase clot risks. I'm doing Heparin 2x a day as I did in a past cycle. This should have been pretty simple. I've done them before, it's a simple process, thin med, tiny insulin syringe. Easy peasy!! Only this time I opted for a local pharmacy who had pre-filled syringes. Sounds easier right?! WRONG!! I left with a "Carpuject System" which I'm assuming was created by Satan himself! It didn't even include needles! I had to go back to the pharmacy and BUY them. Basically you add extra steps because you have to load the cartridge into the adapter & then attach your needles. This thing is bulky and the plunger is flimsy! It makes injecting super awkward!! & that first injection? Holy Shit ya'll!! The direction stated it's supposed to have an air bubble, not to tap it out! Well, I felt every bit of that "bubble" go into my stomach! & the bruising! Oh my gosh! I got bruises last time, I mean it's expected when you're actively thinning your blood. But on dose #1?! And it was huge, and black, and UGLY! 

I did have a stroke of brilliance after about 2 weeks, when I was just wishing I had some insulin syringes to draw this mess out and forget the Carpuject! I remembered a good friend and fellow "Cyster" who had sent me some leftover supplies from her last IVF, which included a bag on unused syringes for her PIO! I'm currently drawing out my heparin, swapping to my smaller needles, and my injections are back to nearly painless (it aches a bit after) and minimal bruising much more like I expected! When it's time for refills (soon!) I'll be requesting vials and syringes!! Not pre-filled cartridges! 

I also had a second fluid ultrasound of my uterus as a pre-requisit, since my last one was well over a year ago. Basically they fill the uterus with fluid so it can be seen on ultrasound & check for abnormalities. I'm very glad we did since a polyp was discovered! Having it there can cut our success rate by as much as 20%. Polyps are just masses of tissue. A lot of the time leftover from past menstrual cycles. Non-cancerous. But can prevent implantation of embryos. Luckily we can get it removed and it shouldn't effect our IVF schedule. Scheduled that for Jan 6th! Small surgical procedure, takes like 15mins. No real incisions, they'll go in vaginally & I'll be under anesthesia. More updates on that later!!

Quick Catch Up!

I've been intending to brush the dust off of our Infertility Blog for awhile now, seems it's now or never! HA!

If you don't know us personally, you've missed a lot! I'm so sorry for abandoning ship! Let's play catch up before we get to the BIG news!

March 22nd 2015 something amazing happened. Most of you who know us personally, already know that, despite completely forgetting that I had pre-registered us for another IVF seminar at our fertility clinic, (Sher Institute of Reproductive Medicine STL) we loaded up in the car, late, and made the 3 hours drive! It's so surreal! My husband, who never remembers these types of things, just woke up that Sunday morning like "um,We're supposed to be in STL today" and man was he RIGHT! See, they do these seminars from time to time at their various clinics, and they're very informative. I registered for this one because I had seen they would be talking some about NKC's, autoimmune issues, and intralipids! The first time slot had actually filled up and they had opted to open up a second sitting and then a third. We definitely were not going to make it to our original slot! By another miracle, I was able to get in touch with out Care Coordinator, despite her being busy setting things up, and get us switched to a later time slot! Each couple that attends receives a packet of information and one ticket to write their names on for a drawing.

On March 22nd 2015 our ticket drawn as the winner of a **FREE** IVF cycle!!! This is a blessing that we could never have imagined receiving. Something woke my husband up, Something told him that we had to be at that seminar! Something convinced me that we should make that drive even though it wasn't our first seminar and might not have much new information. We feel like God wanted us there in those seats. There in that moment, where he made a miracle happen. 

We are responsible for outside costs such as medications, per-requisite testing and procedures, but the IVF itself is provided! We dusted off the GoFundMe, did a few fundraisers. We have been blessed with amazing friends and family who are eager to help us. We were able to follow through on the t-shirt suggestion and I'm still in love with our design! 

 

So, now for the BIG news.... IVF is happening NOW! January 2016! More to come in subsequent posts!!

It really happened, it wasn't just a dream! You can view the video here: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152640189131761

Snapshots of our lives...

Just wanted to share some pictures from the last year or so :)

Cycle Update

Well, for everyone following along, sorry for the lack of an update this cycle. I was hoping to report all of our test results from SIRM in one post, but seems my NK labs are taking ages and now the January cycle is ending

Newest Semen Analysis results were a big improvement. Still not out of the Male Factor Infertility category, but much better than our original results and a sign that hubby's weight loss and the vitamins are working. A great sign for IUI attempts!

Volume- 5.6mL from 4.6
Count- 24.4m/mL from 20
Motility- 42% from 33%
Morphology- same at 3%
Total Motile Count up to 57million from 28million!

We found that my current RE had tested for my AMH on our last set of labs and it was 4.6ng/mL which is very good! It means that my ovarian reserve is in the "optimal" level and I will likely produce a lot of follicles with the right stimulation.

We had some minor annoyances with getting my follicle scan done locally to avoid driving the 2 hours to the RE, but all in all, it was done and I was really happy with the results we saw on 7.5mg femara! I'm so used to my short surges that I jumped the gun a bit, I had an almost +OPK and was worried about missing it, but at the scan we actually were not at O range yet. We did however have 3 good sized follicles

Right- 15mm
Right-14mm
Left- 15mm

We had decided to skip the ovidrel and IUI this month to just wait it out and see how everything played out. With the new SA, we were a bit more comfortable with TI at home. CD16 we had a +OPK and temp rise on CD17 with a lingering +OPK! Timing seemed to be really good! ! My moodiness this cycle was OFF THE CHARTS!! I just knew that the progesterone levels had to be better than in the past. Hopes were SOOOOO high this month. At 7DPO we got the p4 drawn and It came back the highest ever at 15.7!!

Everything this cycle was feeling soo positive. So many good signs. My husband had an adorable dream about our baby. He was telling me about it all sleepy-like that morning. He says she is a girl. Really felt like this month was going to be the month. Ive been extra anxious about the NK labs since I really was feeling like we were going to be pregnant. However, yesterday I started spotting along with a 12DPO negative test. Today my temp took a nose dive off the cliff. So, 13DPO and I'm pretty sure that Aunt Flow is on her way any time now.

Crushed is an understatement. I forgot how much worse this sucks when you are doing treatments and hopeful. I can't really put into words what I'm wanting to say. I don't have any idea how to describe this feeling. I just keep asking "why?"

Why didn't it work?
Why aren't pregnant?
Why not us?

I just do not understand how everything can go so right, and then not result in a pregnancy. I feel like i know this process so well. I know what to expect. I know what warrants a good response. I know how the cycle works. But I don't know what keeps going wrong. What isn't working the way it should.

Today I'm glad to be home for a snow day, because honestly, I didn't want to leave my bed. I wish Tom could have been home too. I just want to sit and cry and mourn the loss of this baby that never was. I know that sounds dramatic to some of you, and that is okay. Because to the people who have been here, they will understand exactly the feeling I'm talking about.

So once AF shows up for good, I will call my RE and we will prepare to try again. Because no matter how heartbroken we are. No matter how much this part hurts... we can't give up. We can't let it stop us from moving forward.

Here Goes Nothing!

Welp, nothing really funny, insightful, or witty to say tonight. Just an update.

Tomorrow is the free consult with SIRM St. Louis we received as a consolation in the I Believe Contest. We're excited to get a fresh perspective from Dr. Dayal, although we have no issues with our current RE. He and his staff have been amazing. It's just going to be interesting to see if her thoughts are different and what she recommends.  We are very interested on her opinion of IUI as a treatment plan for us and if she feels another could be successful. We are hoping to get more information on Micro-IVF and IVF in general as well. We would love to hear that IUI could work since It is far more affordable than IVF, but when push comes to shove, If it is unlikely to work, and IVF costs upwards of $15,000... it's best not to knowingly waste money. Or atleast that is how we feel about it.

So fingers crossed for good news and new insights. I'm nervous and anxious as usual! Dreading this drive for sure!!

Side note, I think for this current 7.5mg femara cycle, we have decided to use it as a test cycle and just see how it works itself out. We will do the OPK's and I've been temping. Go in to my OB with a + for a follicle scan, but forgo the IUI and then get the p4 labs following O, if there is one.  We want to see how my body responds to the femara, since in the past it was never enough. But we are hopeful that with the most recent weight loss and a few natural O's, that I will respond better!! And if it I do and we are reassured of the odds, we will plan to do a 7.5mg femara cycle with IUI next round