Sigh of relief...

Exhale!

Our appointment today with Dr. Dayal at SIRM St. Louis went very well. Her and her staff were super friendly and we got all the information that we had came for despite a big oopsie with our records not being sent over from FAM in time. She was very positive and although she seems to lean towards IVF (because as we all know, it is better odds) she did not seem to feel like IUI was hopeless for us and mentioned the old standby of 3 IUI before moving on. So it is very likely that if the Femara works, we will give it one more go. She talked with us about her opinion that based on my regular AFs, I likely have more weak natural O's than I think and that my LH just isn't high enough or the surge is too short. This is a good thing and she feels that we will likely need less stimming. She mentioned Micro-IVF on her own and that we may be candidates for it if my AMH comes back good like she suspects (PCOS+ under 30yrs old). She wanted to get a repeat SA and the Hubby went ahead and did that today. She also mentioned that although we have no autoimmune history, she would like to test me for Natural Killer Cells that could be preventing implantation. She said that with the occasional natural O and our lengthy med cycle history, it just feel like maybe something else is going on. She also wants a SHG to be sure that sonething isn't a polyp or other issue in the uterus. We got the NKC lab work today. We will be scheduling the SHG for next cycle along with the AMH & basic labs. Overall we're really happy with the appointment and the information we received, including pricing for conventional and MicroIVF.  We would feel 100% comfortable at SIRM when we get ready for IVF and are anxious to get our labs and test results to see if IVF is the next step. 

With this new information, we decided for certain to forgo any IUI until we know my results from the SHG and NKC tests. No use in wasting money when these things could cause it to fail. However, once those results are back, we will do atleast one more IUI with our current RE (if the femara works) We plan to get an u/s when we get a +OPK and then a p4 to judge my response & continue the femara and TI in the mean time.

We're torn on how we feel about the results to the NKC test and the SHG, bcus clearly we hate to have more issues, but at the same time, natural killer cells or a polyp preventing implantation, would give us something to blame for the ovulation cycles not resulting in pregnancy. & both are treatable!! If everything is clear and no NKC, we're still sitting here scratching our heads wondering why with 3 good follies and 27mil sperm in an IUI, we had NO baby. 

Does that make sense to anyone besides us?!?

Here Goes Nothing!

Welp, nothing really funny, insightful, or witty to say tonight. Just an update.

Tomorrow is the free consult with SIRM St. Louis we received as a consolation in the I Believe Contest. We're excited to get a fresh perspective from Dr. Dayal, although we have no issues with our current RE. He and his staff have been amazing. It's just going to be interesting to see if her thoughts are different and what she recommends.  We are very interested on her opinion of IUI as a treatment plan for us and if she feels another could be successful. We are hoping to get more information on Micro-IVF and IVF in general as well. We would love to hear that IUI could work since It is far more affordable than IVF, but when push comes to shove, If it is unlikely to work, and IVF costs upwards of $15,000... it's best not to knowingly waste money. Or atleast that is how we feel about it.

So fingers crossed for good news and new insights. I'm nervous and anxious as usual! Dreading this drive for sure!!

Side note, I think for this current 7.5mg femara cycle, we have decided to use it as a test cycle and just see how it works itself out. We will do the OPK's and I've been temping. Go in to my OB with a + for a follicle scan, but forgo the IUI and then get the p4 labs following O, if there is one.  We want to see how my body responds to the femara, since in the past it was never enough. But we are hopeful that with the most recent weight loss and a few natural O's, that I will respond better!! And if it I do and we are reassured of the odds, we will plan to do a 7.5mg femara cycle with IUI next round

New Year, New Plan...

We had our first appointment with our current RE in over a year yesterday. It went pretty well. I forgot to ask some things, but I'm pretty happy with how things went.
I had planned to talk about.

• New lab work, since I've lost more weight.
• His opinion on our IUI/Inject cycle
• Is it worth it to try another IUI
• To try Femara  in the mean time, at a higher dose (7.5mg ideally)
• Prices on IVF and financing options.

What happened?

• He went over just about anything and everything we have done. My past Femara cycles and p4's 
• My weight loss since he first started seeing me and bragged a lot on me. That part was nice because I'm actually up about 8lbs since the Holidays and was feeling pretty shitty about it.
• My husbands SA results and the post-wash numbers from our two IUI's. He seemed pleased with the improvements in the last numbers and explained more about what they like to see in post-wash samples. 
• He said that since I've reported a few spontaneous natural ovulations he would like to try Femara again but maybe 3 pills instead of 2 (that would be 7.5mg!!)
• He would plan for us to do an IUI but we would do OPKs at home and one ultrasound locally with our OB when we got a positive. Then trigger and come in for the IUI. He will also get orders for a p4 at our OB following the IUI.

He was so positive and encouraging that I just couldn't bring the mood down by asking about IVF. We will save that for a later date. Me and my husband have discussed things and we think that we will cancel the IUI for this month and just let the 7.5mg Femara play out to see how it works. If we see good results, then in February's cycle, we may give the IUI one more go!! We are curious to get a follicle scan and just see what is going on in there with just the femara since we were never monitored on it previously. So we're up in the air as to if we will cancel the IUI before or after we get a sneak peek!! Also undecided on if we will take the Ovidrel Trigger when we get the +OPK or just see if my body goes on its own. I will update when we know!!

Last night was CD4 so we started and Im excited to see where this goes!! Just happy to be doing something :)

Crying Over Spilled Milk...

...or fingernail clippers! Yup, you read that right, crying over fingernail clippers. That was me Saturday afternoon. I promise I can explain!

It's one of those, the last straw kind of stories. It wasn't really the fact that I just spent 30 minutes hunting all over my house for fingernail clippers, only for my husband to find them in the very first place I looked (btw this is when the tears started pouring). It wasn't even really the fact that my house is a mess and I'm so frustrated with never being able to find anything and trying to get it organized amidst Holiday chaos.

It had a little to do with hormones and a lot to do with Aunt Flow. So, as we've discussed, she is pretty regular for me. Even annovulatory cycles for me end with a lining shed/breakthrough bleed. Whatever you want to call it. And until I was TTC, I never knew it wasn't the real deal. So every 28-30 days, wanted or not, AF shows up... until this month. Day 30...31...32 I barely even noticed, I mean im not on any meds. Im still on "break" technically and still not tracking temps. We didn't try to time anything plus with the male factor issues, would it matter?? But then 34?!? I was confused. Could I be? No!! ...35! Should we test?! Is something wrong? We decided to wait one more day and then If no murder scene, hubby would go get us a test!!

This brings us back to Saturday morning. Woke up. No pool of blood... still no cramps... none of my usual symptoms, just like all week! That little bit of excitement kicks in! My heart was racing. I woke up Tom and sent him off to the store. I know his hopes were up to since he got up willingly and was heading out the door in no time. Got my trusty test cup (my TTC ladies likely have one too!) And as I was finishing up, there it was. That little tint of pink. And my heart sank. It's like a punch in the gut really. All the breath is just knocked out of you. And ofcourse then i'm kicking myself for even being hopeful to begin with. Why do I do this?? I texted the hubby and told him nvm, come back home. And I put on my brave face. He just looked soooo sad coming in the house. He is usually the tough one. It just broke my heart.

But we do what we do best, and we just go on about the day and we move on to the next cycle. We eat waffles, we watch TV under our blanket on the couch. He plays his Playstation. I browse Facebook... cute baby picture... status about baby doing something funny... someone is in labor... someone is pregnant!!... funny baby picture... status about baby being cute... someone's officially got a bump!! and so on. I decide to go take a shower. I break a finger nail on the faucet (ouch!). Ofcourse the crooked jagged nail is driving me bonkers. It's freezing. The house is a mess. I can't find the leggings im looking for. Nail is snagging on everything I touch. Grrrrrrr must fix it! So the hunt begins. And we all know how that part of the story ends. With me on the couch in tears, seemingly crying over a damn pair of fingernail clippers!!

In love with a child, we haven't yet met..

 2013 had a lot of ups and a lot of good memories made, but every year that passes is bittersweet, because we are still waiting for our miracle baby. We are hopeful that 2014 will be the year our prayers are answered. Please help us to share our story and share our #gofundme web page. Help us to reach others & make this dream come true! We'll do anything we can to have a baby, and right now, that means asking for your help. #teambabyhouseholder

www.gofundme.com5kb3xc