Cycle Update

Well, for everyone following along, sorry for the lack of an update this cycle. I was hoping to report all of our test results from SIRM in one post, but seems my NK labs are taking ages and now the January cycle is ending

Newest Semen Analysis results were a big improvement. Still not out of the Male Factor Infertility category, but much better than our original results and a sign that hubby's weight loss and the vitamins are working. A great sign for IUI attempts!

Volume- 5.6mL from 4.6
Count- 24.4m/mL from 20
Motility- 42% from 33%
Morphology- same at 3%
Total Motile Count up to 57million from 28million!

We found that my current RE had tested for my AMH on our last set of labs and it was 4.6ng/mL which is very good! It means that my ovarian reserve is in the "optimal" level and I will likely produce a lot of follicles with the right stimulation.

We had some minor annoyances with getting my follicle scan done locally to avoid driving the 2 hours to the RE, but all in all, it was done and I was really happy with the results we saw on 7.5mg femara! I'm so used to my short surges that I jumped the gun a bit, I had an almost +OPK and was worried about missing it, but at the scan we actually were not at O range yet. We did however have 3 good sized follicles

Right- 15mm
Right-14mm
Left- 15mm

We had decided to skip the ovidrel and IUI this month to just wait it out and see how everything played out. With the new SA, we were a bit more comfortable with TI at home. CD16 we had a +OPK and temp rise on CD17 with a lingering +OPK! Timing seemed to be really good! ! My moodiness this cycle was OFF THE CHARTS!! I just knew that the progesterone levels had to be better than in the past. Hopes were SOOOOO high this month. At 7DPO we got the p4 drawn and It came back the highest ever at 15.7!!

Everything this cycle was feeling soo positive. So many good signs. My husband had an adorable dream about our baby. He was telling me about it all sleepy-like that morning. He says she is a girl. Really felt like this month was going to be the month. Ive been extra anxious about the NK labs since I really was feeling like we were going to be pregnant. However, yesterday I started spotting along with a 12DPO negative test. Today my temp took a nose dive off the cliff. So, 13DPO and I'm pretty sure that Aunt Flow is on her way any time now.

Crushed is an understatement. I forgot how much worse this sucks when you are doing treatments and hopeful. I can't really put into words what I'm wanting to say. I don't have any idea how to describe this feeling. I just keep asking "why?"

Why didn't it work?
Why aren't pregnant?
Why not us?

I just do not understand how everything can go so right, and then not result in a pregnancy. I feel like i know this process so well. I know what to expect. I know what warrants a good response. I know how the cycle works. But I don't know what keeps going wrong. What isn't working the way it should.

Today I'm glad to be home for a snow day, because honestly, I didn't want to leave my bed. I wish Tom could have been home too. I just want to sit and cry and mourn the loss of this baby that never was. I know that sounds dramatic to some of you, and that is okay. Because to the people who have been here, they will understand exactly the feeling I'm talking about.

So once AF shows up for good, I will call my RE and we will prepare to try again. Because no matter how heartbroken we are. No matter how much this part hurts... we can't give up. We can't let it stop us from moving forward.