A Very Bad Day.

For three years I have been trying to have a baby. This has been my life. I don't think you can help but to be a bit consumed with it. Its really alot of work!! I have been monitoring cycles, taking ovulation prediction kits (OPKs), charting my basal body temperature (BBT), and timing intercourse. One of those years I've spent taking various meds, including injections in my stomach and getting follicle scans and IUI's. And suddenly. . . here we are. . . at the beginning of the third year, at an absolute stand still. No meds. No procedures. No doctors. . . No TTC. This is not sitting well with me.

Sure I can still take an oral med. And I talked a big game about going natural with the vitex, and I still plan to give that a shot. . . but today. . . it all feels kind of pointless. I mean if i needed 800iu of FSH injectables... what is a random herbal supplement really going to accomplish? I feel stuck. . . Lost almost? I just want to be doing something about my infertility!! I want to be doing whatever its going to take to have a baby. I don't want to be on pause. I want injections in my stomach, vaginal ultrasounds to monitor follicle growth and I want sperm in a catheter!!

 Today is a whiny day. Today is one of those "Life isn't fair" days! Today is a very bad day.